This post is really meant for my anonymous coworkers, who (sadly) will never read this.
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #1—Do not talk on the phone while you are sitting in the stall. This is extremely weird. And if I hear you doing it again, I’m going to yell very loudly, “I'm all out of toilet paper!"
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #2—If there is any empty stall or urinal available that is not next to another bathroom user, take it. In fact, take the one farthest from other users. Nobody wants to rub literal elbows while squeezing the metaphorical lemon.
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #3—Keep the grunting to a minimum. I’m already sure that the leftover pizza you had for lunch is tearing a new one through your bowels, and I do not need audible confirmation.
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #4—Wash your hands. This should not even be on the list, let alone require an explanation. And yet...
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #1—Do not talk on the phone while you are sitting in the stall. This is extremely weird. And if I hear you doing it again, I’m going to yell very loudly, “I'm all out of toilet paper!"
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #2—If there is any empty stall or urinal available that is not next to another bathroom user, take it. In fact, take the one farthest from other users. Nobody wants to rub literal elbows while squeezing the metaphorical lemon.
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #3—Keep the grunting to a minimum. I’m already sure that the leftover pizza you had for lunch is tearing a new one through your bowels, and I do not need audible confirmation.
Bathroom Etiquette Tip #4—Wash your hands. This should not even be on the list, let alone require an explanation. And yet...